I use to recoil at the thought of being associated with the word angry, because I thought it would reinforce the narrative that already characterizes black women as aggressive, loud and even unfeminine. An archetype that doesn’t represent me or the many black woman I know. Nevertheless, as I've gotten older my outlook on the angry label has changed because I realize if black woman should be angry it is warranted. What other emotion could possibly articulate how it feels to both be black and a woman, but anger ? Not angry in a victim or an entitled sense, but in a way that makes the controversies surrounding race and gender personal for me.
For me, anger is the long standing discomfort with the world around me and results from the internalized racism of my peers, the over sexualization of women and the disdain for dark skin around the world. Although my first instinct is to run from this emotion with the justification of it not being godly or Christ-like, I think I'm going to sit in this anger awhile. I don't have to be fake or pretend I'm okay with the world around me when I'm not and neither do you Sometimes the best thing you can do is be honest with God. Take heart in the fact that God knows all about you and what you feel. He'll sit with you to work through these feelings whether they're valid or not.
I think I've bought into the lie that associates Christian forgiveness with being passive and docile. I am on the journey to learning what forgiveness looks like in the Bible and encourage you to do the same.
In the mean time :
1. Affirm your worth- you belong in this world whether the world knows it or not.
2. Be honest about how you feel with God and yourself. You aren't a better or godlier Christian because you don't experience anger.
3. Understand how the Bible deals with the vast array of emotions we experience as human beings.
4. Pray to God , wrestle with God and allow Him to do the work He needs to do in order to make you more like Jesus.
Until the ink drips,